Surviving divorce can be a valid fear if you’re contemplating getting a divorce. In order to ensure surviving divorce, you should first understand that your divorce decision shouldn’t be taken lightly. Ensuring that you’ll be surviving divorce can be comforting and can influence your path as you consider your reasons for divorce and take the emotional plunge into actually going through with it.

Its tough enough to think about how your immediate life will be impacted by getting a divorce let alone thinking about divorce from an aspect of “the aftermath” of divorce. You may be considering a variety of things in the short term including living arrangements, spouse’s schedules, attorneys, kids, property, etc. Its tough to plan so you can really ensure that you’ll be surviving divorce once its finally over with.

Surviving divorce, just like deciding to divorce, is about separating emotion from logic and making sure you think about the past, present and future. Of course, how you plan for surviving divorce, will differ from others in some respects, but there are some common themes to think about that should ensure you will be successful surviving divorce.

The most common things to think about when you want to be successful surviving divorce are self-evident and basic, but highly important:

Surviving Divorce Concept 1: Reflect on the past to make sure you can eliminate potential regret.

Make sure that you take the time to reflect on the past and remember the reasons that got you to this state of mind. One thing you absolutely must avoid is going through a divorce and regretting your decision. Evaluate, in detail, your reasons for divorce and confirm to yourself yet again that divorce is the best course of action. This will help eliminate regret…and regret can be a large factor in determining your chance of surviving divorce.

Surviving Divorce Concept 2: Admit to yourself that, no matter how your situation got to this breaking point of wanting divorce, that you had a hand in it, and plan to improve yourself.

Even if you know your present spouse is not a good fit for you, be smart enough to know that you shouldn’t waste the opportunity that you have right now to improve yourself, for your own good in the future. At a time like this when emotions are running high, there tends to be a lot of soul searching going on, and that’s a good thing if you want to ensure that you’ve got a solid chance of surviving divorce. Realize that you need to improve for you, this will only help you in the future. Remember, it takes two to tango!

Surviving Divorce Concept 3: Remember that your happiness and plan for surviving divorce should include evaluating and establishing a certain level of self-confidence. Having self confidence is absolutely critical to surviving divorce because without it, fear usually will win out and your situation will not improve. Even if you get divorced but you don’t evaluate your own level of self confidence in the hopes of improving it, you may be in for a rough time after divorce. If you want a sure-fire way to feel good about surviving divorce, do yourself a favor and get your self-confidence in line.

If your overall confidence and desire to start over with your love life support making a change, you’re off to a good start in making a smart decision about whether to divorce or not.

Surviving Divorce Concept 4: Get your finances in a row and understand that your life will change most likely from a monetary perspective.

This is a major portion of the surviving divorce equation, especially for women in divorce. A lot of time, women in divorce situations have to deal with finance issues and they fear going out on their own because they’ve had financial support previously. Still, this concept is not gender specific and can resonate with anyone because, one some level, your life will change financially as a result of divorce…that’s a guarantee. In order to make sure your chance at surviving divorce is high, you need to be willing to trade potential financial loss to get a divorce. If you’re willing to do this, maybe you’re ready to really take the big step.

Surviving Divorce Concept 5: Understand the true value of using “projection” to ensure surviving divorce.

This is a terrific exercise to go through when you’re faced with a divorce decision and want to ensure you’ve got a great chance of surviving divorce. “Projection” simply means looking to the future and actually imagining what your life will be like once you’re divorced. And, if you’re smart, you’ll see multiple scenarios of what your life will become after divorce and you’ll be able to pin down which factors lead to each one of those scenarios. Then, choose the scenario you’d like to actually live, and take the necessary steps needed to implement those factors. This one of the most important practices to ensure that you’re chances of surviving divorce are high.

Surviving divorce is a difficult thing but it can easily be accomplished if you plan, reflect, think, and execute based on your own goals and needs.

A married woman becomes a single woman for one of two reasons: death or divorce. The former is an honourable state, the latter is not.

When a woman loses her husband to death the neighbours all rally round and provide meals and any help they can give with regard to household repairs or cleaning or anything that is needed. They are willing to provide comfort and a shoulder to cry on. They are available for the widow and they include her in their activities, feeling sorry for her that she is now so alone.

However, things are quite different when a marriage ends due to infidelity or marital breakdown. That immediately plunges a woman into a new category. She is transformed, instantaneously it seems,from a married woman to a divorcee. Becoming one of many, part of a group of used and discarded women, seen as suspect by all those who are still safely ensconced in the womb of their marriage.

People tend to withdraw from her. Invitations to get togethers cease. It appears that women think their husbands might be attracted to the idea of an “available woman” and so the women who used to be friends withdraw and leave her alone with her tears and her fears. There are no meals prepared and no offers of help. Husbands are kept at home just in case, for such is the image portrayed of a divorcee. The husbands might not be safe. She might cause the destruction of other marriages.

We read jokes all the time about the lonely divorcee who invites the mailman, the milkman, or the Maytag repairman into her home with the intent of seducing him. (A joke made up, I am sure, by a man who has never known the humiliation and pain of being a divorcee.) Perhaps she even seduces them one right after the other, for such is the life of the “gay divorcee”, isn’t it? Freed from the bonds of marriage, with unmet needs and desires, divorcees are wanting to fill the void; or at least that is the popular image. And so in place of invitations to parties or neighbourhood barbeques which were formerly were issued to the couple and their family, there is an empty mailbox, and the phone stays quiet. She checks it every now and then to make sure it is still working.

The divorcee begins to feel as though she no longer exists; as if, because she is no longer half of a relationship, she ceases to be a part of the neighbourhood. Women who used to call her friend no longer call. Her children are not invited to play with the neighbours’ children. Perhaps the women feel they would be contaminated by the disease of divorce, as if it were a virus that could be caught, or maybe they just don’t know how to talk to a newly divorced woman. A divorced man, on the other hand, is often seen as more eligible and is a welcome addition to many parties. His social life may increase, and because he usually does not have the children, his disposable income is often enough to keep him comfortably.

However, life goes on. The bills still have to be paid, the kids still have to be fed and they have to be clothed. Family chores that were done by two are now done by one. If the children are old enough, they can chip in and help with the household duties such as dishes and meal preparation and housecleaning. Because of the reduction in income, the divorcee is often forced to seek employment and then she has two jobs; one inside and one outside the home.

Sometimes the inside life doesn’t change much. For those who had husbands who simply went to work and came home at night expecting to be waited on, their workload is reduced by one person, so this can be a blessing. But the availability of a backup when she is really tired and the kids are really obnoxious is a problem. She has to deal with all the problems, tired or not.

Because she has been ostracized by her neighbours she seeks out other divorcees for companionship, often building relationships and forming deep bonds that last for years as they share the day to day problems and achievements. They get together with their kids and pool their resources for family dinners. They support each other in job searches, in the handling of problems, in the fights with their exes. They listen to each other and care for each other’s children.

Sometimes, because of the great reduction in income, divorcees are forced to apply for an allowance from the provincial government. This is known as welfare or Mother’s Allowance. There they are told that they have no right to have a phone or a car, or any of the things they consider necessities but the government considers luxuries, such as a heating bill over the allotted amount. Widows, on the other hand, usually receive a pension from their husband’s estate which they can spend however they want, with no rules. The divorcees are told to sell the car and get rid of the phone, even if they are out in the country. If they have a house, they might have to give it up and move the children to a new area. Sometimes, in order to survive, they may use credit cards to buy the things they feel they need for their kids for school and other activities. They may not be able to send their kids on school trips or buy the clothes that the kids need to fit in and so their kids may be ridiculed because of the way they dress. When the kids come home crying, they often feel guilty and wonder if they couldn’t have worked things out better with their ex-husbands. They cry but try to hide the tears from their children, not wanting to upset them.

When the divorcee ventures into the realms of the full-time employee instead of part-time, she must find a babysitter for her kids, arrange everyone’s schedule and settle into her new lifestyle. She tries to find a boss who is willing to let her attend the various special events at her children’s school and cries silently to herself when she is unable to attend a day graduation due to work, or when she is unable to see her children receive sports awards, but she knows that she is doing the best she can. She attends what she can in the evenings and on weekends and hopes it is enough.

As the divorcee settles into life on her own, she may begin to find advantages such as being able to go where she wants, when she wants and with whom she wants. She has only to consider herself, and her kids, if she has any. Eventually the heartaches will ease a little and the divorcee will reach out to others a little more, perhaps even being willing to take the risk of dating another man.

Her circumstances may not have changed a lot. She still struggles to pay bills, to provide for her kids, yet she finds her life is full. Not the rumoured life of the gay divorcee, replete with men or with parties and wild living, but one of love for her kids, and perhaps of studying for a degree while working in a fulfilling career where helping others. She has weathered the storms of life and feels that she has come out on top. Her children move on to their own homes and to employment. Perhaps her eldest has his dream job, that of webmaster and service technician. Another may become the youngest Inventory Control Manager and the only female one in Eastern Ontario for a large soft drink company. Another, with a child of her own, may work part-time and plan to return to school to take an Esthetics course. Her children could be very involved in hockey, perhaps playing at the AA level or Junior A level which requires a lot of travelling and sacrifice of personal time. But to her it is all worth it to watch her child score the winning goal and to see the smile on his face as he turns from the net. Her heart swells with pride as his teammates congratulate him and the parents lean over to say how well he played.

Yes, life continues after divorce, the pain and heartache suffered in the beginning eventually fade somewhat and the divorcee finds the strength to survive and, more than that, to move on to whatever the future has in store.

No one besides you can determine whether or not a divorce is right for
you! But, there are some general questions which pretty much apply to
everybody. Thinking about the following issues may help you answer this
question for yourself!
What specifically is making you think of divorce?
Physical Abuse
If your spouse is violent to you and/or your kids, this is a safety issue.
No matter what you may have done, NOONE deserves to be hurt! Your spouse
may be trying to justify his or her actions by blaming all of your marital
problems on you. Please remember that a marriage requires effort by both
persons to make it work.
Ask yourself the following questions:
Has your spouse tried to isolate you from your friends and family?
Have you had to call the police to stop violence?
Have you ever had to go to the hospital as a result of being hurt by
your spouse?
Does your spouse apologize after hurting you and promise “never to do
it again?”
e. Do you try to do everything “right” to keep your spouse from losing his
or her temper?
f. Does this work for a little while, only to have the violence eventually
start again?
g. Can you feel the pressure building in between violent episodes?
h. Does the smallest thing set off a violent episode?
i. Do you feel that nothing you do is right?
If you can identify with the above questions, you may be a victim of
“battered spouse syndrome.” This situation, although it can occur with
both wives and husbands, usually describes a situation in which a husband
is physically abusing his wife.
A great deal of psychological and legal study has been done on this topic.
Often, women who have been abused “forgive their husbands” and stay in the
abusive situation. It has been found that five times is the average number
of times a woman leaves her spouse before she can successfully escape the
psychological control an abusive spouse can have over her.
Often, an abused wife alienates her family and friends who get angry when
they try to help the woman leave, only to learn that she has returned to
her husband and the dangerous situation!
Maybe you don’t think you have anywhere to go! Most cities have special
shelters for woman and children and will keep your location secret from
your husband. Free legal fees are also frequently available.
Help is definitely available!!!!! Please don’t let yourself or your
children stay in a situation which could result in serious injury or even
death. (Pat, there are hotline numbers we could probably put here or to
click to.)
If you think you may be the “abuser” in this situation, help is also
available to you to stop this pattern of behavior so that you can move
forward and enjoy the pleasure of a healthy, happy relationship. Everyone
deserves a second chance at happiness. Everybody can change and learn and
grow from our mistakes. Maybe counseling is the answer. Maybe an anger
management class would help; or, spiritual guidance from your particular
clergyman. Perhaps you might consider yoga, meditation or some other form
of “alternative” medicine. Just reach out, and you will find the answer
that is right for you!
The Affair
You never in a million years thought it could happen to you. All of
sudden, your spouse stays up late or gets up in the middle of the night to
use the computer. Chat rooms, e-mails, internet “buddies.” Oh my goodness!
How did that picture of you get distributed on the internet? (You know,
the one you took thinking that it would remain private between you and
your spouse.)
Then, there are the old-fashioned, more traditional ways to cheat: the
business trip, the co-worker, the high school reunion hook-up, and so on
and so forth! Let’s not forget the world’s oldest profession.
The question is – do you leave or do you stay?
The world is divided into two groups of people (Those who count their
carbs and those who don’t.) It is also divided into those spouses who can
forgive an affair by their spouse and move forward – and those who can’t.
If you are the victim of a wandering spouse, you should be honest with
yourself. You may think you want the marriage to continue. Do you really
want to work things out, or are you secretly determined to make your
spouse’s life a living hell. Maybe you don’t really want this consciously;
perhaps you just can’t help yourself.
Maybe your personal or spiritual values will keep you from continuing in a
marriage in which your spouse has cheated. Or, the opposite could be true.
You may feel that you are committed to stay in your marriage no matter
what.
Being honest with yourself about your true motives will go a long way
towards helping you make the right decision.
What if you are the person who has found someone else? Maybe your marriage
has been over for a long time. What would have to happen to save your
relationship? Have you and your spouse talked about what seems to be
missing in your marriage. Do you still love your spouse? If you could save
your marriage, would you want to? Would you be willing to get some
professional help?
Or, is it just a day late and a dollar short? Sometimes, a couple has
passed the point of no return. Regardless of whether your spouse wants a
divorce or not, the State of Texas will not force a couple to live
together if one of them wants a divorce. Most of the time, one person
leaves the relationship long before the other. Your spouse may need some
“catch-up” time to get used to this idea.
If this is the case, you should be prepared for a bumpy ride for awhile.
Your spouse will probably alternate between being angry, depressed,
bargaining, penitent, furious, grieving, victimized, vengeful,
retaliatory, depressed again, pathetic, and hostile (and then all over
again.)
You may not know which of your spouse’s “multiple personalities” you are
going to have to deal with on any given day! One minute, everything is
calm and you are talking rationally. The next day you’re living in the
seventh circle of hell.
It helps to remember that some of this is purely situational; ie. it is
(believe it or not) normal behavior. It isn’t actually about the two
individuals – you and your spouse. Instead, it’s about being hurt and
feeling betrayed. Both parties feel guilty. Both are suffering. Both feel
just plain miserable.
Debt
Lord have mercy. Those purchases seemed like a good idea at the time. All
of a sudden, you have credit card debt and lots of it (thousands and
thousands of dollars worth).
Sometimes now the question becomes whether to declare bankruptcy and then
get divorced or vice versa.
You may not want or intend to declare bankruptcy at all. If this is a
consideration though, you should contact a bankruptcy attorney so that you
can best consider the options that make the most sense for your personal
situation.
Other kinds of financial problems frequently stress a marriage and can
bring it to an early conclusion: gambling, excessive drinking, drug use
(I’m talking about the COSTS involved here), spending on step-children or
adult children.
Got problems with child support from a previous relationship? (Interest
and penalties can cause the most loving spouse to lose his or her sense of
humor.)
Did you use to have great credit but now you can’t finance a happy meal?
Money can’t buy happiness. It has been suggested that the people who
believe that don’t know where to shop!
Seriously, let’s face it! Food and shelter are pretty basic needs
(Maslow’s Hierarchy – Psychology 101). A spouse who thinks his or her
partner is to blame for their financial ruin may just decide to cut their
losses and run (very fast).
Debt counseling and debt consolidation could help. Getting out from under
steep monthly payments may provide much needed relief, as can re-financing
the house or a home equity loan. These solutions will only work if the
couple cures the disease and not just the symptoms! A serious change in
lifestyle is in order.
Can you work this through? Can you afford to split up? Two people can live
together cheaper than they can apart! Sometimes, a couple literally cannot
make it financially living separately.

      You want three things in your divorce attorney:

expertise in divorce,
reliability, and a good attitude.

You want a lawyer who specializes in
divorce (at least 50% of his/her case load), and unless you’re expecting a
no-holds-barred battle, you want a lawyer trained in divorce mediation who
practices it professionally. Mediation-minded attorneys are more likely to
give you neutral and problem-solving advice, whereas traditional attorneys
tend to be more oriented to conflict and their advice tends to be
adversarial. Your attorney must be someone you can trust and work with
comfortably, someone who has your confidence.

Once you’ve found the right lawyer, here are some tips on how you can use
your attorney in ways that will make your divorce go as smoothly and
inexpensively as possible.

Using a lawyer efficiently. The most important thing is to be very well
prepared whenever you contact a lawyer. Know your facts, know what you
want to ask about, and know exactly what you want the lawyer to explain or
do for you. Plan each conversation; make an agenda; write down the things
you want to talk about; take notes on the content of the conversation;
keep track of time spent on all phone calls and meetings. Keep a file for
all your notes and all letters and documents. Do as much as possible on
the phone and by mail to keep the office time at a minimum.

Regard your attorney as a resource, not someone you cling to or depend on
for emotional support and stability. A lawyer is not the right person to
make your decisions or lead your life–you are. Lawyers cost too much for
you to use them for sympathy and consolation–that’s what family, friends
and counselors are for.

When you talk to a lawyer, stick to the facts and don’t just chat, ramble,
or complain about things your spouse did unless you actually want your
lawyer to do something about it. Don’t take your anger to an attorney; you
want your best interests represented, not your emotions.

Taking control of your own case. Being in control of your own case and
your own life is the single best thing you can do in any divorce, so it is
essential that you have a lawyer who can work cheerfully on that basis. If
you are well prepared and business like, that will help the lawyer see
that you are in charge of things, but you should actually say that’s how
you want it to be. Tell the lawyer that you want good advice and will rely
on the lawyer’s experience, but that you expect to make decisions that
concern the tone and strategy of the case. Ask that you be sent copies of
all documents and letters. Let the attorney know that you expect phone
calls to be answered by the next working day. These little things let the
lawyer know you are the boss. After all, you pay the bills.

Using a lawyer for specific tasks. Instead of hiring a lawyer to get you a
divorce, it may be far more cost-effective to use the lawyer just for
information or advice on specific subjects. That may be all the legal help
you will need. If not, you can always go back for more help later. After
you have organized all your facts and read about how the law works in your
case, if you still have questions about the law or what the likely outcome
will be in your county, write all your questions down and ask a lawyer.

You may decide to have a lawyer help with your marital settlement
agreement, either to draft one or just to check over one you have made
yourself. If you get stuck or confused at any point in your divorce,
that’s a good time to go for help. The more specific and prepared you can
be, the more you will get for your money.

The plastic surgery has become a multi million dollar one, as both men and
women employ more and more extreme tools in order to reach the ever more
ubiquitous image of perfection that torments us. It sometimes seems as
though the tiny people of Hollywood have been constructed entirely out of
plastic in a conspiracy to make the rest of us feel like ogres. And in a
world where beauty is a highly rated currency, it is little wonder that
many of us succumb.
And while plastic surgery is not a bad thing in and of itself, it is still
an invasive procedure as dangerous as any other type of surgery, and
should not be undertaken lightly. But if the growing number of people who
choose surgery every year is anything to go by, then surgery is becoming
the quick fix of the masses.
But if anything needs fixing, surely it is a society where people undergo
risky surgery in order to feel okay about themselves. We pride ourselves
on the advancements we make as a society every moment, and while
attractiveness has historically always been of value, is it not now time
that we rebel against the status of beauty as the primary currency in our
society? But beauty is more powerful that ever, and combined with our
enormous technological knowledge, we are at a point when we have the tools
to look almost exactly as we wish.
Perhaps the world of ‘The Stepford Wives’ is really not so very far away.
As people make appointments daily for surgery that will make them look
like someone else, we are at risk of losing our individuality to a cult
that simply wants us all the same. They say that beauty is in the eye of
the beholder, but it seems that as time progresses, we are all beginning
to see through one blighted eye. What will we do once we are all finally
beautiful? Perhaps then we will begin to look a little deeper. Or perhaps
we our notion of beauty will change, as it has done countless time through
history, and we will all be left to start from scratch again.

Your hands are as obvious as any part of your body; you use them to emphasize points in a conversation and to do daily tasks, therefore they should look as well groomed as the rest of you. A good manicure is important to your appearance. Whether or not you use polish, your nails should be conservative, healthy, and always well manicured. To keep your hands attractive give yourself a weekly manicure.

Set aside about a half hour and have the following items before you start: emery board, cuticle scissors, nail buffer, a bowl of warm water, polish remover, nail brush, orangewood stick, cotton balls, base coat or nail hardener, nail polish and top coat.

1. Remove old polish with a cotton ball dampened with nail polish remover. Press the cotton ball firmly to the nail and hold until for a few seconds. Pull the cotton ball down the centre so the polish doesn’t smear on the skin around the nail. Use a clean cotton ball to remove any stubborn polish.

2. Holding it on a slant, use an emery board to shape nails. Use long strokes in one direction toward the centre of the nail (don’t go back and forth). Don’t file the nails away at the corners because it weakens the nails. Make the curve blunt and don’t file your nails into sharp points.

3. In a rotating motion use your thumb to massage cuticle cream into the rough skin at the sides and base of the nails.

4. Soak your nails in warm water for a few minutes to soften the cuticle. Clean your nails thoroughly using a nailbrush.

5. Wrap the end of the orangewood stick in cotton and apply cuticle remover to the blunt end. Use it to loosen dead skin from around the nails.

6. Use scissors on hangnails only. Never cut cuticles.

7. Make sure your nails are free from polish and are clean and dry. If you don’t wear polish, simply buff your nails lightly lengthwise from the base to the tip and you’re finished. 8. Wipe nails again with polish remover to make sure you get rid of any traces of oil moisture or soap.

9. For normal nails apply a clear base coat to the entire surface of each nail. If you have problem nails use nail hardener instead.

10. Apply nail polish using 3 strokes, one from the centre base to the tip and one on each side. Use only enough polish to do one nail at a time. Don’t redo while wet.

11. When the first coat is completely dry (about ten minutes) apply a second coat.

12. Finish with a coat of sealer for added protection and allow to dry for at least 30 minutes. Avoid contact with water until nails are completely dry.

Many individuals believe that they have to “live up” to another family
member or idol. Some are even envious of famous icons and want to look,
act, think and be like the stars of the big screen. People become so
obcessed that, in their quest of “perfection,” they lose sight of who they
are themselves. One of the most peculiar idiologies of people is that they
honestly believe that they can literally “transform” themselves into other
persons.
In the eternal journey of life, human beings are almost comical in a
bizarre kind of way. Television ads tell us that we “need” certain
products and services to “make” us feel better, look better and think
better. Other sociological commercialization is exhibited by actors and
actresses — as they all seemingly have an incredible physical appearance,
coupled with extreme self-confidence. But here’s the bottom line: not all
people are perfect. Not all actors and actresses have super bodies. Not
all individuals have perfect complexions, and gorgeous hair. So what do we
do? We improvise — and then we compromise.
We improvise with products, services, clothing, makeup, and the like. We
compromise ourselves, though, because we are no longer “true” to our
natural form. Persons who feel they “must” actively change themselves to
appear like others, is moreover a matter of self-esteem — or lack thereof.
The most proficient and successful goal of life is to “Aspire to be YOU.”
Take a long look at yourself in the mirror. Ask yourself the following
questions:
What do YOU want to do?
How do YOU wish others to see you?
What defines me?
Am I confident?
Am I happy?
What can I do to be happier?
What are my goals?
What are my dreams and aspirations?
Do I ‘need’ to transform myself? And most importantly,
Do I know where I’m going in life?
There are no paradoxes in aspiring to be you. When you aspire to be you,
one doesn’t need to comparison shop for personalities. One merely has to
look within to find his/her unique meaning in life and how s/he emits
himself or herself in the community. When you aspire to be you, you don’t
have to be superman or woman. You only have to be you — in mind, body and
spirit. Nature’s gift to mankind, is not how you define yourself by
becoming someone else — rather, how you present yourself to you. Aspire
to be yourself, and the rest of life’s voyage will be smooth sailing.

Life after divorce is something that most people who are going through
divorce think about. Thinking about having a life after divorce or
thinking about how your life will be after divorce, are common because
people tend to fear for themselves. In fact, think about having a life
after divorce while getting a divorce can be a sticking point for some
people because they just aren’t sure what their life will “look like”
after divorce.
Here’s things to keep in mind so can have a life after divorce:

1:Think about your emotional stability…if you
wanted the divorce or not, you must face it head on.
Divorce is tough and whether you’re going through it or your are already
past it, your emotional stability is of vital importance because you might
tend to be somewhat touchy after going through an emotional ordeal. Keep
in mind that your life after divorce can be great but you must admit that
you will go through (or have gone through) a trying time in your life.
Admitting this and facing your situation head on is important to your
emotional stability and critical to you having a happy life after divorce.
2: Look at the bright side, having life after
divorce could be a new start for you!
How may times in your life do you wish you could have just started over
knowing what you know now? If you answered “many”, don’t worry, that’s a
common thought most of us have. Having a positive mental attitude about
your new beginning will make a huge difference in how happy your life will
be after divorce. Life after divorce can be fantastic and it can also be
very tough if you don’t remain positive about a what’s in front of you.
Look at the glass as being “half full” and realize that, in order to be
happy after divorce, you must take advantage of the opportunity to get a
fresh start!
3: Surround yourself with people you like in your
free time.
Too often times people start new relationships with just about anyone
because they are lonely while getting a divorce or after getting a
divorce. Sparking a relationship, romantic or friendly, with anyone and
everyone who will spend time with you can contribute to unhappiness in
your life after divorce. Stop and think about the people that you spend
time with and ask yourself, “Once my emotional turmoil has ended, would I
really want to keep the relationship going with this person?”. Life after
divorce is tough…so, when you’re deciding about divorce, going through
one, or already have been through a divorce, make sure that you carefully
choose who to spend your free time with or you may fall into more
negativity in your life after divorce.
4: Make it a point to spend time doing things that
you like to do every week.
Make sure that you spend time enjoying your life after divorce – don’t
forget to ’stop and smell the roses’. Some people vent, work, go into
hiding, or just plain go haywire after getting a divorce and their
subsequent life after divorce isn’t as healthy as possible. At least once
a week, take the time to go and do something that you really enjoy
doing…it will help you deal with your life after divorce in a more
pleasing manner.
5: Set specific goals and implement a plan to
achieve those goals.
Life after divorce is a tumultuous time, your life can seemingly be ‘in
the balance’. In order to make sure that you feel good about yourself and
enjoy the feeling that accomplishment brings, think about a goal or set of
goals that you’ve always had but never attained. Then, prioritize those
goals and devise a plan to obtain them, one by one. Implement each plan
and be happy (in fact celebrate) once you’ve reached your goal. Your life
after divorce will be markedly better and healthier if you take this
concept to heart and follow it.
Visualizing your life after divorce (and thinking about what your life
might be like after divorce) is a sound and logical thing to do in order
to be happy after divorce. Your life after divorce does not need to be a
continuation of the pain you might have gone through or are currently
going through.
Life after divorce can be extremely liberating if you act based on logic
plus positive emotions rather than negativity. If divorce is eminent or
you’ve already been through divorce, take the time to actually plan your
life after divorce.

You will find that this recipe is very easy to make. And you can prep all of your ingredients in advance. Perfect for the busy mom on the go. Once you have all your troops ready for dinner, you can toss it all together in a matter of minutes.

This is a recipe that is a huge hit with my entire family. Even my picky toddlers!

Fire Cracker Italian Sausage Pasta

Recipe

1 pound uncooked wheat pasta (be sure to use a fun shape)
1 large zucchini – sliced
1/2 cup red onion – sliced
3 T fresh garlic – chopped
1/2 cup olive oil
3 Italian sausage links – sliced
1/2 cup frozen peas
1/4 cup fresh basil
1/4 cup green onions
Salt and Pepper

Preparation

Pasta:

Cook pasta according to package. Drain. Set aside.

Italian Sausage:

Cook Italian Sausage until done. Set aside until it is cool enough to touch. Slice into bite size pieces.

Herbs & Vegetables:

Zucchini – wash, slice into bit size pieces
Red Onion – peal, slice
Fresh Garlic – peal, chop
Frozen Peas – soak in warm water until no longer frozen, drain, set aside
Fresh Basil – wash, chiffonade (see tip below)
Green Onions – wash, slice into small pieces

Instructions

Heat a pan large enough for all of the above ingredients. I tend to use the stock pot I boiled my pasta in. Throw in 2 T. olive oil, zucchini, red onions, garlic, and Italian sausage. Sauté until zucchini is tender.

Once tender, toss in all of your herbs and vegetables, and the remaining olive oil.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Sprinkle with parmesan cheese.

Enjoy!

Tips from Chef Bek:

White pasta can be substituted for wheat.

Dried basil can be substituted for fresh. (when using fresh herbs in a recipe, use 3 times as much as you would use of a dried herb)

Chicken broth can be substituted for the oil which goes into the pasta once tossed.

Cooking spray can be substituted for the oil you sauté your vegetables with.

Turkey sausage is a great substitute for pork Italian sausage.

Basil Tip:Chiffonade – To slice an herb or leafy vegetable into thin strands. Best way to accomplish is by stacking herb directly on top of each other, then rolling the leaves and slicing.

What is Acne?
Acne is a chronic disorder of the hair follicles and sebaceous glands.
Some of the characteristics of acne include black heads, pimples, cysts,
infected abscesses, and rarely scarring. Acne usually occurs during
adolescence in both men and women. To be more specific, acne starts during
puberty and tends to get worse for people with oily skin. Acne badly
affects teenage boys. Only mild to moderate forms of acne occur in
middle-aged women. Acne can be seen most commonly on the face. The other
places where it can occur include the neck, chest, back, shoulders, scalp,
and upper arms and legs. Most forms of acne are the result of heredity and
hormonal problems and has nothing to do with a harmful diet or poor
hygiene.
Types of acne
Acne starts in a similar way for all but can take different forms and can
react in a unique way according to the body conditions of the individual.
A basic lesion called the comedo is the begining of acne. The comedo is an
enlarged hair follicle plugged with oil and bacteria residing under the
surface of your skin, that waits for the right conditions to grow into an
inflamed lesion. Whenever the skin produces more oil, the bacteria grows
within the swollen follicle. The surrounding skin becomes increasingly
inflamed as your white blood cells fight against the intruders. Two main
types of acne include non-inflammatory acne and inflammatory acne.
Non-inflammatory acne
Closed comedo:
If the plugged follicle stays below the surface of the skin, the lesion is
called a closed comedo. This usually appears on the skin as small, whitish
bumps. This condition is otherwise called as whitehead.
Open comedo :
If the plug enlarges and pushes through the surface of the skin, the
lesion is called an open comedo. The dark appearance of the plug is not
due to dirt, but due to the buildup of melanin, the pigmentation element
of the skin. This condition is otherwise called as blackhead.
Inflammatory acne
Papule:
This appears on the skin as a small, firm pink bump. The papules are
tender in nature and are often considered an intermediary step between
non-inflammatory and clearly inflammatory lesions.
Pustule:
These are small round lesions that are inflamed and contain visible pus,
which appear red at the base with a yellowish or whitish center. Pustules
do not contain a large amount of bacteria. The inflammation is caused by
chemical irritation from sebum components such as fatty free acids.
Cyst:
These are large pus-filled lesions that are usually present deep within
the skin. The cysts are very painful lesions, as they are inflamed. Cysts
form as a result of the contents of a comedo spilling over the surrounding
skin and due to the response of the local immune system in producing pus.
The cysts often leave deep scars.
Acne conglobata:
This is a rare but serious form of inflammatory acne that develops
primarily on the back, buttocks, and chest. In addition, to the presence
of pustules and cysts, there may be severe bacterial infection.
Symptoms
The common symptoms of acne include persistent, recurrent red spots or
swellings on the skin known as pimples. The pimples become inflamed and
get filled with pus. The pimples usually occur on the face, chest,
shoulders, neck, or upper portion of the back. Some of the other symptoms
include dark spots with open pores at the center, which are known as
blackheads, bulged spots under the skin without openings, which are known
as whiteheads, and red swellings or lumps filled with pus, which are known
as pustules. The pustules can develop from blackheads or whiteheads.
Inflamed fluid-filled lumps under the skin known as cysts are also a
symptom of acne. These cysts can become as large as an inch across.